13 January 2017

Somebody I met today was at the bridal expo. I do the bridal expo twice a year and I very rarely meet people ready to invest a lot of time in a conversation.

The guy I met was in a Storm Trooper outfit. It isn't very often in which you meet people in Storm Trooper costumes, but apparently there was a couple who was going to have a Star Wars themed wedding. Of course I had to ask him the most pressing question in my mind.

 "Is it hot in there?"
"Well... There's a fan in the helmet." 

I looked down at the rest of his costume and saw it was just clothes with a Star Wars shell on top. Who knew those helmets had fans? 

I sure didn't. 

12 January 2017

Someone I met today was a student from Cornell University. That isn't really very interesting in itself. There are a lot of top performing schools here that get people into the prestigious Ivy League constantly. What's different is that the kid I met was from Singapore.

"So why'd you choose the United States to study?"
"Well, the choice was between here and the UK. I looked at the schools, and I found that when you go to the UK, you only study what you're going to school for. I thought that the education here is more holistic."

I don't know what Singapore is like in any regard, so I was curious why he would pick somewhere with a lot of barely hidden unrest. 

"Do you like it in the United States?"
"Yeah I like it so far. There's so much to see and learn that's so different."
"What are you studying?"
"City planning."

A quick Google Search on urban planning in Singapore brings up a very conveniently placed Wikipedia page. It tells you that Singapore has been meticulously planned since day one. It makes me wonder what he thinks of the infrastructure support here, and whether or not he has a taste for the occasionally organic and unorganized ways that cities spread here. Maybe there's something appealing in the perceivable chaos, or maybe it's just a warning to something he should not want to achieve.

I remember back in the 90s it was a big deal when that kid got caned for vandalizing something. There are some crazy laws about being dirty and disrespecting property in Singapore. The laws alone tell you how much they value their public goods and infrastructure, with punishments far more severe than hefty fines. If things appear to be working there, I wonder what they hope to learn from here.

He said that the education is more holistic, so I wonder what he feels about what the current president here. Is it much different from there? I don't believe there is any government entity without woes, but does their administration vehemently oppose each other more than we do here. Is their president or Prime Minister more likely to denounce "real" or "fake" news? Is that normal to him? 

I guess I'm really trying to figure out how much of it is a culture shock in the alarming sense. If it were me, knowing I didn't live here would give me a spectator sort of relief. That the world I'm living in isn't really the world I belong to most of the time. He seemed like he came from an affluent family. I wonder if sending your children to the United States is the norm for richer people in those countries. 

Maybe he sees what already makes America great, and wants to bring it home. Who knows? We parted ways today, after he said that he was going to go visit Hong Kong, a city not necessarily known for having great urban planning. So who knows?

Maybe he likes a little chaos in his day, but so do I.

11 January 2017

Someone I met was really someone I've met before. Multiple times. I first met him when he was starting out his business and used to putz around on an electric scooter. His business has grown since then, owning 2 condos and running both his AirBnbs out of them. He says he gets his guests great stuff, like beer, ice cream, fruits, coffee, and the works. 

"Hey!"
"I'd recognize that voice anywhere!"
"How've you been?"

He gave me the rundown of how his business and app is doing, and his laundry list of where he's going next. In case you're wondering, he's going to Thailand, Georgia, then spending 2 months in Columbia. His Spanish is apparently very poor.  It's also very likely I got his itinerary wrong, but I'm not his mother, wife, or secretary. 

"You still seeing that guy?"
"No."
"Oh it's ok, I think I realized I really just like doing my own thing."

He waxed poetic for a little about how he's single by his choice and how much he loves it. He asked who initiated the break up (me). He apologized that it didn't work out, but I said one of us tends to like to do their own thing (also me). I explained that I generally will do whatever I want or need to; if you're in, cool, if not, I'm still doing it. 

"Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she was smoking hot. 24, really athletic, fit. So she spent the night once, and in the morning she asked me if I wanted kids. I told her I would answer if she answered first. She said yes. I told her that as much as I like her and think she's a great girl, I don't want her to stick around waiting for me to change my mind. If we keep seeing each other cool, but I don't want her to miss out on an opportunity for something she really wants if I can't provide it."
"Wow. That's really cool of you."
"Yeah. I mean the sex was amazing, and she was a beautiful girl, but I couldn't do that to someone. I mean we still talk and we're still on good terms. She told me she thought it was cool I did that because no other guy would."

A couple of thoughts went through my mind. It's cool to see someone actively choose to be single and run a successful business. I've met a few people like that over the years. I admire the ambition and appreciate the hustle. I also liked that he was upfront about what he was emotionally available for and what he liked.

At the same time, there was nervous, awkward smiling. Who says that stuff about a girl to someone they are casual acquaintances with and have met like maybe 10 times over six years? Do I really need to know about your sex life with someone else? I mean he is a decent looking guy, not my type, but I could see it. He has reasonable game. 

Do guys really talk that way about girls to random people? I mean it wasn't rude, but it seemed oddly personal. But then again, I don't know the girl and it's not very different from what I'm doing here. I guess really it's this. Talking about someone is one thing, but for me, I feel like sex is a very intimate thing to talk about in a casual setting. Either way, the conversation moved on pretty quickly so it wasn't that bad. He spent more time talking about his current business plan. Like I may have implied, he was more interested in his success than a girl. I guess most successful people are like that. 

At the end of all this, guy gave me his card and told me not to be a stranger. Unsure if being picked up or just wanted to keep in touch with someone who's known him for a few years. 

Either way, will probably email him. Will keep updated on this fellow. 

 

10 January 2017

I met a few someones today. It's crazy because I thought one of them was someone I met yesterday. To be fair, I took a nap around lunch time so it threw off my internal clock.

Someone I met today was at a small specialty shop. Kayte and I were looking around admiring their outdoors themed ware. While I was trying on different sunglasses, the owner overhead me talking about putting glacier water into a tiny bottle to take home. This ended up sparking a conversation.

"Glacier water?"
"Yeah! I'm going on vacation to Iceland and I want to bring a glacier back so I kind of want a small bottle to put it in."
"Why Iceland?"
"I've always thought it was interesting. It's beautiful sure, but it has a really fascinating history."
"You know they're the first people to elect women?"
"I didn't know that. They've always done a good job of self governance. I'm reading the The History of Iceland right now, and even when Iceland was considered a tax land of Norway and was connected to Denmark, they've always been very autonomous." 
"It's too bad we couldn't do that here, or that Hillary [Clinton] couldn't use that as an example."

We shared a laugh and got to talking. The fellow I met was the first guy to bring the Roxy brand here, and is fairly involved in the surfing community because of his relatives. He wore the sun well on his own skin. This man shared with me that he really believes in investing in local businesses, but it's really very expensive. However, he does actively try to share smaller brands with better quality products. He didn't like the way bigger brands did it because it squeezed smaller businesses out which he thought was "too bad."

"I hope you go to Iceland and learn a lot. That's really the point of traveling you know?"
"I hope so. I'm very excited to talk to new people and learn about their mythology and it's going to be so much fun."
"So what's your omiyage? What are you going to bring to them?" 

He was showing us some of the product while Kayte humblebragged that I'm a painter. To be fair, there was a really cute miniature watercolor set that we had been looking at with a cute painting and notebook nearby. I ended up showing him a painting I recently made, and he shared that I should paint while of there. My ever supportive best friend agreed. Of course. (She's really one of the best people I know).

"Oh, why don't you paint here and share it with them!"
"You know, that's not a bad idea."

It's always so interesting to see what people take away from traveling. People experience it differently, and do it for different reasons.

Someone else I met today gets a small blurb because he's traveling and studying psychology all over the world. He had been in Bangkok and Beijing most recently. In our small interaction, he shared he was an introvert and was studying psychology to better understand people around him. When I asked him about what he wanted to focus on, and he said he didn't really know... In fact, that was the only thing he was sure about was that he was trying to find people's motivations and what makes them tick in their decision making... As well as how consistent they are in that decision-making. Also interesting was how he referred to his funding for travel, "Research slush fund." Who calls their grants that? Definitely connotes something different from the term "grant" or "scholarship."

The one thing I was sure about with both of these people enjoyed traveling and both of them enjoyed meeting people for slightly different reasons. The man I had met at the shop shared a parting lamentation:

You call a paradise
Kiss it goodbye

Starting Out

I should start out by saying I've been thinking about what I enjoy in my life. What I enjoy and what I do for work overlap, and while not perfect matches, suit something I'm passionate about:

Meeting new people.

People who know me are familiar with the fact I have a penchant for talking to strangers. It's an incredibly persistent, insatiable itch that I can't help but scratch. My mom doesn't necessarily think it's safe, and while I'm inclined to agree, I have both my parents to thank for that trait. They both have proclivities to talking to strangers and really do a great job of it.

Since I enjoy writing, and find that I don't do it often, I'm going to try to make a goal for myself. Everyday, I'm going to try to write about someone I met. Here are the rules:

  1. I need to write every day about someone I met.  
  2. If I didn't meet anyone new, write about someone I have met that isn't someone I have a friendship with.
  3. If there are ties, and there may be ties in Someone I Met that day who I want to talk about... I have to find a connection in the people that I write about or else it's not going to be very challenging. 

Most of these posts will probably contain questions I have regarding the person I met... And rightfully so. It's similar to my Musings, but really just documenting my fascination for people in conjunction with my own introspection. 

It should be interesting, and I hope you enjoy it. 

54

Gold is valuable. It exists to look beautiful, but is fickle and malleable compared to other metals and alloys that rust with age and wear and tear. You can wear gold to adorn your body but that's all the wearing you can do. It decorates otherwise plain visages, surfaces, ornaments, fixtures. Gold is valuable because it doesn't tarnish.

That's more than I can say for your reputation adored by gilded glossy words.  

Musings 23: Storytelling

I'll try not to spoil it too much but… I recently watched Moana and I loved it.

I don't have the conversation around modern female protagonists often. If you have had this conversation with me, then you'd know this: I hate most of them. Especially the ones in movies. I often feel they're one-dimensional and only are interesting if they're in a love story. They often exhibit traits like strength and stubbornness in a way that a male traditionally would. They're not allowed to be smart and likeable at the same time. There are tons of videos on YouTube about this, so I won't continue to rant about it. My issue with it is this:

Most of them don't appeal to me because they are not me.

But that's where Moana comes in. She is, in a nutshell, how many of my friends and I have grown up: full of love and cognizant of the life outside of our supportive homes. Coupled with her curiosity and resourcefulness, she's a really solid character. None of these traits are as important as the fact that Moana is ready to learn and grow.

That's where the story takes us.

But the story goes there with a lot of care and authenticity in researching and developing a story outside of the traditional Disney story arc. They consulted scholars in the Pacific about the cultures they've studied and continued to actively through the story making process. Some story elements were concepts that my friends and I recognized as part of our experiences.

The mythologies were reflective of the region without being a retelling of a story that already exists. 

I've always had a fascination with mythology. Like most people, Greek and Roman mythology was my genre of choice, and I have read multitudes of their stories since childhood. There were often overlaps in the anthologies I had read, but I studied anyway. You know, just in case I had missed a small story on the side. I moved onto Norse mythology after college, but finding comprehensive collections continued to be an obstacle. The difficulties I faced in my search nagged at me, but it also saddened me.

The old gods and old stories are dying. It's an idea that explored in reading of American Gods by Neil Gaiman. The idea is this: We’re replacing them with media that is more easily accessible and readily consumable than reading or talking. The specifics of our stories are disappearing, as are our histories, and consequently our traditions.

If you think about how stories got passed down, it was first often through oral tradition. A community comes together and learns and shares the stories with each other; from elder to child, teacher to student. The responsibility of preserving this oral tradition is given to someone equally capable of doing the telling. Once a written language is introduced, the story gets told on paper. You no longer need the community to share the story, just someone who can point you in the proper direction. With the advent of movies, you don't even need that. It's just a screen where you can passively engage with a narrative.

Think about when your friends do something, anything. They tell you, their captive audience, their experiences. Some of your friends are decidedly better at telling stories than some of your other friends, but it's ok. Storytelling is a communal experience; it's shared and savored with all its participants. It builds bonds and strengthens relationships as we invest our time in each other. But storytelling takes practice, and sometimes we need to give each other that.

 

Most people don't know the old stories, so maybe they're not as invested in it. Think about when your friends repeat the same stories; "I heard this already" is the immediate response. You don't want to hear old stories, especially if you already know them. Hollywood does this a lot with its multitude of remakes. Movies are fun but also predictable. People like stories that keep them engaged and encourage them to ask questions.

 

Disney went to those linguists and anthropologists and practitioners and choreographers and became their captive students. Each shared their own stories and objected when necessary. Instead of retelling the stories, they created a new one together. They made it right where it needed to be and took liberties where they could. Storytelling is a way of connecting with people now and with generations past. It's a way of experiencing a perspective that possibly may have been unknown to us before.

Moana didn't have a love interest, and she didn't have to. She realigns with her cultures' traditions to grow and move forward. Disney did the same. Sometimes, we have to look behind us in order to forge ahead. It's hard to find the way without conversations with people who know differently from us. These conversations are important if we ever want to get them right. I hope Disney continues to take this direction with its movies; by continuing to consult people who are immersed in the preservation of their histories. Hopefully that inspires people to see how truly wonderful other cultures and their stories are.

 

Imagine where we could go once we recognize how far we've come.

Musings 22: Day 2

In August, my brothers were here on vacation. When we went to the beach, my niece got stung by a jellyfish. Trying to reason with her was a little bit difficult. Her dad asked, "Which hurts more, this or your appendix?"

Amidst her screams and sobs and cries, she sniffled out, "This, because it hurts now."

The only thing with these wounds are that they're going to hurt more than a few hours, and more than a few days.

The past 48 hours have been a whirlwind for a lot of people. There's a lot of despair and desperation equal to the amounts of vindication and victory.

You're allowed to feel hurt, angry, sad, upset. If the other side lost, they should be allowed to feel the same way too. Some of you are gloating and some of you are mourning, but that's not what this is about. Regardless, it's a shame it had to come down to this from both sides.

Calling your political critics "dumb rednecks" or "stupid liberals" separates them from you. You remove them from their full lives as people with dreams, and hopes, and goals. You strip them of their basic desires for food and shelter, safety and purpose. They feel left behind because the common rhetoric excludes them; because they're not a minority, not an immigrant, or not a female. They might not remember that they've left you out of their narrative, leaving you small paragraphs in the annals of history. They're denigrated to the point where they won't listen to anything that you say; no matter how valid and real they are to you. Even if they've done the same to you, the only thing that's real is what they feel you've done to them.

This is your president elect. Rejecting him and protesting him separates them from you. It adds another fencepost in the walls that separate us. Failing to recognize the leader that they chose is an insult to them, especially when they feel they've done the same for you for the past 8 years. Choosing to leave is a copout and it's cowardly. They didn't leave you even if they wanted to. They feel like they've won now, and will still feel like it if you leave. Those of your peers who can't leave will have yet another person who's betrayed them too. You're giving up on the country that raised you, instead of keeping it on the ever changing path to greatness.

They've hurt you, called you names, violated you, and invalidated your experiences. That hasn't changed, it still is wrong. But admit it, you've done it to them too. You've thrown names at them just as many times; it's just unfortunate that theirs are uglier and more violent. It burns that they don't recognize the power of their words and actions, and some of them never will. Theirs instigate more pain and suffering on top of the existing wounds you wield. Their experiences prevent them from recognizing the injustices you've faced, but it doesn't mean that they should be forgotten. Just because their narrative is the prevailing narrative, it doesn't stop existing. But neither does yours.

Creating this us versus them mentality means that there only can only be one winner, one true story, one proper option, one proper type of people. It's easier to do it that way. It doesn't take much thinking to diminish someone from a complex person into a one dimensional caricature of themselves. We've ridiculed each other, hurt each other, and dismissed each other enough.

That needs to stop.

While many of us may fall closer to the middle, the ones on the fringes are dragging us down with them on both sides. We need to stop using our words to hurt and start using them to help.

It'll be hard because it means that we need to shut up and stop talking.

People's perspectives will change based on their own personal experiences, and their memories are the realest things to them. They're the only things they can validate as true because they've seen and experienced it in their own eyes. If we don't see it, it might not exist. A life of luxury doesn't exist for people who've lived in poverty all their lives; a life free of violence doesn't exist for people who see death every day. Security and safety remain dreams unless realized - if ever realized.

We need to listen to each other. Our solutions can become as complex as the people whose problems they're trying to solve. The more discussion we have between different sides, the more perspective we gain. With more perspective, we can come to a more willing compromise to achieve our end goals. We're not always going to agree, but discussing it with people will at least help them understand what they may fundamentally disagree with.

Listening happens best when you can see how someone is listening to you. Sit down and talk with each other, and let them be vulnerable in private and safely with you. Stop criticizing people on Facebook. Using your screen as a shield from confrontation also prevents us from empathizing with each other. We all know that a little more empathy is going to be needed. If we can accept that experience is the best teacher, then we need to teach each other what that means.

It'll be scary, and it will be hard. You're going to face opposition from each other now more than ever because everything we've worked for together has been invalidated by hateful speech. We can't address divisiveness with more divisiveness, because we will divide and divide until we're left tiny, single, and alone. If we don't work together, we're going to lose what already makes us great. We need to keep trying so that the sacrifices of people who have felt marginalized, been lambasted, and were dismissed are not wasted. We need to remember that everyone is valuable, as are their perspectives and experiences. Our futures need to include everyone, even those with whom we fundamentally disagree.

 

This means that we don't give up.

 

It means we have to work harder and persevere knowing that we may not win in our lifetimes. It means that no matter how many times we fail, we keep trying to help each other towards compassion and empathy. No matter how much we beat each other up, that our loyalty to our country and each other is stronger than the words and actions that divide us. We eat, we sleep, and we breathe, but we need to love more strongly than our capacities for hatred. We've seen what we can do at our absolute worst, but there is and never has been a limit or precedence for our absolute best. We need to rebuild our communities with everyone involved, no matter how resistant some of us might be to the change.

My niece remembered her prior pain, so she knew it could get better. It would. She just didn't know when. So I told her a story of a girl more clever than the people around her. She didn't let them feel stupid for not being as smart, but she helped them recognize her agency, and the power in her intelligence.

Change can happen. The Chick-Fil-A CEO did it. Other people around you can too. It means we will be need to be patient. We need to learn how to forgive each other, despite the pain that we've caused each other. Remembering prior pain doesn't mean that we forget it. However, it does mean we need to give each other space to grow. Some people may not understand it yet, but it doesn't mean that they won't ever. We won't know until we give them the chance. It'll take baby steps with each other as exercising the first reaction of compassion takes practice. It takes time. We need to give each other the time to grow, and the chance to experiment safely in places we do not understand yet.

We need to get better at sharing our stories. Our stories of love and of hate create empathy. They can instigate rage, but they can inspire hope. I talked about the idea of community last month, and we'll need it more than ever. People who understand the plight of their peers and friends need a platform to share their experiences safely. Communities of faith do a good job of creating the foundation and structure necessary in maintaining a group identity. Their weekly meetings and celebrations of faith provide consistent platform for discourse. What neither do well is making it a standard to bring these two strengths together. Our vulnerabilities and weaknesses are our best weapons in mobilizing empathy. We can't change the fundamental parts of our individual identities, but we can force people to see its importance to us. To do that, we need to see what's important to them.

America's greatness is in our ability to evolve and pivot in changing times. America's greatness is also in the communities we seek to build every day. We're all capable of the same, but we all know it needs a lot more work. Change doesn't happen overnight, and expecting it to do so leaves flimsy ground for us to stand on.

Stop yelling on Facebook and start talking to each other. Learn to become peers and allies by finding your disagreements and discussing why you feel and think the way you do. Stop interrupting and start listening. Celebrate what we do right and respectfully correct each other on what could be better. Persevere when it's difficult, and tap each other out when we're tired. We're a team. Despite all the shouting and the hate that vibrates through the air, hope remains a quiet whisper in trying times.

 

And we all need to try a little harder.

53

When these words were spoken before, they were repeated pleas to affirm what I so wanted then. The empty response was barely the remnant of an echo. Reciting them again and again diminished their meaning. Those words once powerful became a powerless please from me. 

Despite their enormity, who knew these words could be cut by hollow affirmations? That they could also be taken from people who did not know the weight of them on my lips? Each time these words were broken from me, they were hollowed of their meaning.

When silent affirmations turned into quiet whispers, you took these empty words and made them hallow. The pleas turned to peace and the repetition of the words were not made from echoes, but from fulfilled wishes.

Safe in sacred spaces, we share these words in time with the beating of our chests. And with each repetition, may our words leave our lips to reverberate from our chests.

 

Perhaps, as my final plea, may the joy we create radiate from us for each day that I'm blessed to be with you.  

 

 

 

52

It's a difficult thing to reconcile what goes on in my head. It can't just be me but who knows. 

To expect the best but also just accept that's how it is. 

To fight with what you want to do and what you should do. 

To want to cry at your own frustration or to tell yourself to suck it up because you're being a child.

I feel like I'm saying things and no one hears me, but I know that's not true. Someone else's experience doesn't invalidate mine. That's how it is for everyone's narrative though, so it doesn't make it a different feeling from everyone else's emotions. I've always said I was selfish, but when you haven't practiced how you say... an unarticulated thought is worth[ ]less than an articulated one.

 

But look, I just did it, splitting myself up again. 

 

Then again, that's just how it is. 

Musings 20: Authenticity and Faith

There's a lot of pride in being atheist, let alone agnostic, and a celebrated ridicule towards people of faith, particularly to those who subscribe to the certain brands of Christianity. How silly of them, we say, to reject science, to believe in a God who has so many contradictions, to continue to perform rituals for someone who doesn't exist.

With the Snapchat and Periscope generation, there's a great desire to prove the authenticity of things, prove that we really were there, that we did experience those things, that it can't be faked. Instead of being a culture of faith, we've become one of persecution, quickly condemning people who show an inconsistency in their being or character.

 

But why?

 

It's easy to say someone is lying when they change an opinion. You didn't believe it before, therefore you must be lying now. This desire to be genuine and unchanging in the representation of ourselves denies everyone else the ability to learn, grow, and adapt to the needs of the society around us. Maybe not on a small scale, but also on a larger scale, in politics, social justice movements, and the internet, where we quickly lambast the people who offend us by daring to disagree or believe differently.

When you scroll through comments on news articles or shared posts, people always lament the loss of humanity… And in some ways, they're right. We have lost some of our humanity in a way when we've rejected the importance of faith in our lives.

In our country, we mostly highlighted the importance of a religious type of faith. There was a belief in a being or purpose higher than us; with our micro-actions only being small contributions to a greater plan. Whether sincere or not,  there was a quiet and conscious decision to do good. Now, we choose instead, not to focus on the kindness performed, but the silent nagging idea that there was a lapse in perceived truth.

But faith isn't just religious. It's trusting in the unknown and the openness to accept that what may happen isn't what we wanted. Faith allows us to be open to other people coming into our lives, and trusting that they won't hurt us. Sometimes they do, but that's part of it. Closing ourselves off to chance puts us deep in a box governed by artificial rules. It leaves us walled off from the possibilities that some things, or some people, may surprise us.

People want to be surprised. They look for it in books, in movies, in videos shared that are shocking and powerful and will make you cry. They want to believe that there is something more than what they're seeing… That's why magic and science fiction have become entertainment staples that we hold dearly to our hearts. These themes allow us, if just for a second, that there's a chance something else or something more may exist in the time randomized combinations of actions we take every single day.

It doesn't have to be religious, and for some people, that does help. There is a community that comes with subscribing to different faiths, and different truths, and different trusts. The religion isn't the important part, but the trust that we place in each other.

I know some people have a hard time with that, we're not always the best people to each other, especially when we're working towards learning and growing on our own. We're even worse when we're ready to inflict shame instead of forgiveness in the court of the internet just to prove or disprove the authenticity of ourselves. I'm not saying to stop taking smart risks, I'm just saying believe in the surprises that may come.

While not particularly religious, I do respect what it does for other people. At the end of the day, I believe that there are people who want good things for each other, and good things for themselves. I don't need them to prove what they've done to get there, it isn't really important. I just believe in magic, that random chance leads us different ways, and trust that the people around me are just trying to create a little bit of good in their lives.

Maybe people are just trying to find magic in their own ways. Instead of trying to prove or disprove everything we see, maybe it's easier if we put down our phones and believe, if only for a second, that there's a little bit of good hiding in everything.

51

How quickly our teeth become pearly gates, damning ourselves to some unspoken fate. Hold them closed and water may leak from the sleeping waterfalls above. Speak too swiftly or too soon, and drown everyone else. The sloppy, slippery words rushing into their ears, choking them as they breathe in anticipation of speech.

Do we drown in silent secrets or in the currents we create with the dams that we break? 

Musings 18: Compassion

In light of the recent events, it feels like people more easily place blame than they do burden themselves with it. 50 people died in Orlando this past weekend, and the following are to blame in varying quantities:

  • Homophobia
  • Gun Laws
  • Islam
  • Immigration

Blaming people creates anger and encourages a divide when there should be solidarity. Blaming pits us against one another, and hot terms like the above separate us from the shared human experiences of love, loss, death, and tragedy. Separating us from our humanity divides us and lessens the amount of compassion that we can create. There's a funny thing we do in English, where we always have to have an actor causing the action. "You broke the vase" is very different from "The vase broke." I promise, it's true. We're more likely to remember who did something... And that's important for the wrong ways.

Our media focuses a lot on the aggressors, the perpetrators, the "bad guys." He did the action, he's the reason it happen, he committed a crime. We focus on them so much that we start to zero in on people like them, why they're the way they are, and why we're different, and why we're better. 

But better is a matter of perspective, and the large majority of us are not mass murderers. There are things that we universally believe are evil, like rape, and murder. Depending on your perspective, you may think Muslims are bad because they appear to commit many mass murders. Guns are bad because they're the tools people use for harm. Homophobes are bad because they commit hate crimes. 

That shouldn't be the narrative we focus on in the wake of a tragedy. We should focus on the lost loved ones, the support we can give, and the empathy that these situations call for. More importantly, we should celebrate as we mourn, and work towards increasing our own compassion in spite of our anger.

There were 50 people who loved and lived fully with discrimination and challenges. Each of them chose to live freely despite the daily and constant presence of unwarranted anger and hate. Each of them feels what we feel. Each of them, at the end of the day, is human. 

 

 

Musings 18: Memorial Day

I went to the Memorial Day Lantern Festival in May. If you don't know what it is, it's basically where a bunch of people get together and float lanterns out to sea (sort of). On each of the lanterns is a memorial with letters to loved ones lost, ranging from funny (Grandma, you finally got your cruise!) to sad (to Baby #1, the first set of 2 pink lines we didn't meet) and bittersweet (Grandpa, I know you're in a better place, but everything is a wreck without you). It's a beautiful ceremony as many traditions appear to be intertwined with its performance.

I was in the water watching the lanterns float out to see while some photographers moved around rudely through people's lanterns. I understand that getting the perfect shot with no people in it is important to some people, you know... They do it for the likes. It's art. It's rude, but not nearly as tacky as the next thing I saw.

There was a couple touching the lanterns to take selfies with them. Like really? Do you not understand that you're basically taking pictures with someone's graves? Memorials? I mean people take pictures of memorials all the time...

Regardless of the ceremony, water thematically is intertwined with death in several mythologies. Light generally means a guiding source... But I guess what makes this tacky is that the lantern and light out to sea is essentially supposed to guide these spirits home, and these had no regard for the messages left on these lanterns. No regard for the permanence of death for the impermanence of a snapchat.

If it were my loved one and my selfie with that letter, it makes sense. A stranger with my words will only see them through the blur of a 5mp front-facing camera, and not through the blur of watery eyes. They're holding recycled wood back from floating to sea, without recognizing the new waves of emotions each time we take moments to mourn. They're looking through the lens of a camera and not through the shared human experience.

People do lots of things to show and prove they were somewhere. That's fine. I just hope that the sacredness doesn't get lost as we try to keep the old traditions new.  Let's keep the reverence as we revisit our loved ones passing and face death again. I just hope we put down the phones long enough to renew our awe and recognize that very few things yield to the sea - the sea of memories, the sea of time, and the sea of everlasting and overflowing love.  

49

Do your nervous ticks manifest in your skin? Are they like weeds that just grow and you pick and they scratch and you itch, only to hide with potted plants and waterproofed decks.

I guess it doesn't matter if your neurosis commands your hands and you spend your days on your knees, picking out weeds. In these time, I'm more intimate with the dirt than myself, exterminated by anxiety but searching for a root deeper than my fingers can reach. 

I'll spend my time then, paralyzed here, with no mercy, as I get muddied by the blood of the earth on my hands.