The sound of water

For me, listening to music is an active activity. I can’t really be doing anything else, unless it’s painting, exercising, or something with my hands. Music is a very consuming experience and I just like what I like. When I listen to music, it’s important to get a sense of the composition, and especially the lyrics. In the past few years, I noticed that water was a theme in a lot of music I like.

I mean duh, it’s an easy metaphor to use. What a strange piece thing to notice. What could I possibly do with that information. So, I challenged myself to make a complete narrative with water as the main theme. Does the story have love? Loss? Betrayal? Who knows? I didn’t.

The kind of music I listen to is lyric heavy, so I began composing this story using what I knew. I initially wanted the whole thing to be a conversation between a man and a woman. While adding music, I found that I couldn’t find an even ratio of people singing about different sides of the same coin. While you’ll see it in the case of Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake and River of Tears by Alessia Cara, it wasn’t the norm. I found that women were more likely to sing about the transformative and healing powers of water, and a way of signaling a rebirth or cleansing. Men sang about water as a way of just jumping in, having fun, starting something new, and as an obstacle to a relationship. FASCINATING.

I was limited in scope to the kind of music I like listening to. I had to expand it. I mean, if you’re here reading this, you may already know I asked Facebook what their most loved/favorite water themed songs are… And I specifically excluded Moana. Although, listening to the playlist now, I could probably include Moana. I’m open to more suggestions, but I’m actually really digging this playlist.

If you’ve made it this far, great. If you just scrolled down here for the playlist, well. Ok. What do you think? Should I do it again? Am I missing essential songs? Let me know in the comments!

Into the Spiderverse

“You’re the best of us, Miles. You’re on your way. Just keep going.”

This gem of a quote came up when I finally watched Into the Spiderverse. Aside from being a creative and innovative addition to animated films as a whole, it starred Miles Morales… Possibly the most popular version Spiderman to date. He’s a mixed race kid growing up in the Bronx, with all the hopes and dreams of his family riding on his shoulders. Then he has to be Spiderman? Talk about pressure, you’re reading about it from someone who stays in bed for hours when possible.

Though, the reason that quote struck out to me mostly because… Well, I guess I get it. I gained a lot of perspective this year. Earlier in the year, I made a friend who grew up in the ghetto. Her friends and family know her as the one who made it out. She’s one of the more resilient, persistent, and kindest people I know. Her love for people is bigger than her, and if those things aren’t the best in people… Then I don’t know what is. Each of those people from her neighborhood root for her everyday, and will support her and her continued success.

Reflecting on her story got me thinking about my own and how they parallel. What her friends and family want for her are not much different from what my parents want for themselves and for us. Immigrants and their families share my friend’s story and Miles’ story. If they moved on their own, it’s to continue their family’s story in a new place. Many others moved their families here so that their kids could have the best chance at life. Some of them moved away from dangerous areas, poverty, sickness…. Or they moved closer to their dreams, safety, and peace. For parents, each hopes that their kids embody the best of them, and fulfill their potential.

Being the best you isn’t such a unique idea. I read something recently that I loved. It was that each time we looked in the mirror, we should think our faces are our heirlooms, handed down from our ancestors who chose to keep going. Our faces, our color, our voices, our stories run through each fiber and DNA strand of our beings. Kids nowadays are lucky to see their dreams reflected onto screens in characters like Miles. The successes and struggles of our parents and their parents and even theirs are stories that are seen as valid and celebrated. Look how marvelously far we’ve come with sharing our histories and ourselves.

Many of us are on our way to whatever is next in our journeys.

I’ve had a wild, beautiful, crazy year, and I couldn’t be happier. Some downs, but mostly ups, and I’m incredibly grateful. Everyday, I lay in bed and think about how lucky I am that I’m surrounded by loved ones, met great people who challenged and supported me, and was readier than ever for every opportunity that I ran towards. I feel like each year I find different levels of personal accomplishment and inner peace, and I hope to continue that with whatever life throws my way.

For my next year, I hope I can continue to see wonder and joy in the world around me. I hope for health and happiness for the people I love, and that they find success in all their endeavours. I know sometimes the world is awful, but I hope that passionate disagreement and empathy can create something productive. I’ll look for new adventures and exciting happenings. Together, we’ve accomplished so much and we’re all working towards our best.

Miles resonated with me because his parents’ hopes are my parents’ hopes. His story wasn’t about accepting the responsibility of power, but instead about accepting the power in himself. Who we are and what we have to offer in the world is valid, we just need to uncover it and polish it. His character charmed me because of the earnestness and enthusiasm that he approaches the world with. He’s a teenager that captures the challenges of growing up and the pressures of his family’s hopes perfectly. While I don’t have to deal with being a Spiderperson myself, I hope that I can capture his attitude in my everyday next year.

We’re all getting there. We just have to keep going, and appreciate the magic and mystery of life as it comes.

Happy New Year everyone.

Midweek, mid-vacation, pre-nap time

Since being home, in Hawaii, I've spent about 2 hours each morning just staying in bed. Sometimes I'll go back to sleep, other times I'll play games. I don't know. It doesn't really matter.  

There was a time maybe two years ago, I woke up from a nap and remembered thinking that I should savor that moment. It was late afternoon and one of my days off. Since I used to be off on Wednesdays, I would finished running errands and come home for a nap. My room is, and continues to be, one of the hottest rooms in the house. Even if I slept with the AC on and stripped to my underwear, I could still be marinating in sweat. The sun still peaked through my blackout curtains, no matter how dark or thick I got them, and the old house smell would be hidden under the scents of my lotions and perfumes. I knew once I got up, I'd go eat dinner with my parents, watch The Filipino Channel with them, only to have a post dinner snack at 8pm. Before even getting up, I just thought, "Man, I wish I could keep this feeling forever."

I knew I could not, or would not, but I think about how peaceful the thought of being at home with my family is. It made me feel as though I had the greatest gold stored safely in my heart.

Recently, I've spent time thinking about how wild this year has been for me. I spent less time on my childhood bed this year than any other year of my life. Also, I feel very grateful that I've been able to take advantage of opportunities around me too. Hearing the birds chirping in the papaya trees, the trade winds rustling the leaves outside, and the gentle hum of my parents talking downstairs reminds me that I'm very blessed. Or lucky. Or whatever worldview helps you simultaneously feel in awe and at peace.

Lying down in my life

Let it be known that I love my bed. I just got home from Seattle yesterday, and being in my childhood bed is a literal dream. When people ask "what would you save in a house fire?" you bet the answer is going to be my mattress. 

Lying in it reminds me of how soft it is. It’s like being enveloped in a bunch of tiny chinchillas. As much energy as I have to do things and talk to other people, I've probably spent double that time in bed. What am I doing?

Anything really.

Reading, playing on my phone, playing games, going back to sleep, thinking up random ideas or fun things. I feel like it's a really meditative experience for me... But also I'm pretty lazy. In fact, I've been up and writing this using the Squarespace mobile app on my phone... Mostly because I didn't want to get my computer from my backpack. 

This blog is meant to be a more casual thing, like Someone I Met... But around what makes me want to lie down. And trust me, that's a lot. 

I just wanted to document everything that makes me want to lie down. No matter how fun, frustrating, saddening, or maddening it is. Whether it's overwhelming, or under, lying down is just a reminder that sometimes I need to just chill.

My memoir

The other day at work, my coworkers and I talked about what we would title our memoirs. I told them I still had a hard time deciding what I would call it…

Though today is the day!

I’ve finally come up with a name, and told Khara. Our conversation went something like this:

Khara: I’d read it. You should write a memoir.
Me: What?! A memoir about my 27 years of life? I’m not that old.
Khara: Ok, wait till you’re 30.

THANKS. I told Tam the conversation later, and he thought it was a great idea.

Tam: You don’t need to be old to have a memoir. Just write a blog.

Duh. Why didn’t I think of that?

Anyway, I think it’s a great idea and here I am. I’ll try to keep my blog around the theme of my memoir…

Can I just lie down?

It’s my go to response for stress, excitement, overwhelming joy, agitation. Anything. So I’m just gonna write down those things that really just make me want to lie down.

Here’s to a new journey!