Since being home, in Hawaii, I've spent about 2 hours each morning just staying in bed. Sometimes I'll go back to sleep, other times I'll play games. I don't know. It doesn't really matter.

There was a time maybe two years ago, I woke up from a nap and remembered thinking that I should savor that moment. It was late afternoon and one of my days off. Since I used to be off on Wednesdays, I would finished running errands and come home for a nap. My room is, and continues to be, one of the hottest rooms in the house. Even if I slept with the AC on and stripped to my underwear, I could still be marinating in sweat. The sun still peaked through my blackout curtains, no matter how dark or thick I got them, and the old house smell would be hidden under the scents of my lotions and perfumes. I knew once I got up, I'd go eat dinner with my parents, watch The Filipino Channel with them, only to have a post dinner snack at 8pm. Before even getting up, I just thought, "Man, I wish I could keep this feeling forever."

I knew I could not, or would not, but I think about how peaceful the thought of being at home with my family is. It made me feel as though I had the greatest gold stored safely in my heart.

Recently, I've spent time thinking about how wild this year has been for me. I spent less time on my childhood bed this year than any other year of my life. Also, I feel very grateful that I've been able to take advantage of opportunities around me too. Hearing the birds chirping in the papaya trees, the trade winds rustling the leaves outside, and the gentle hum of my parents talking downstairs reminds me that I'm very blessed. Or lucky. Or whatever worldview helps you simultaneously feel in awe and at peace.