I saw you
through a window in a crowd of one
at an ice cream shop six feet away
from my car on the crosswalk.

Three times since we last talked
because of three words I wouldn't say.
A betrayal of your time in service of mine.

You must have seen me first.
You turned away so our eyes couldn’t meet.
The curve of your back said enough.

I only see your face now
in my blurry dreams:
Your back faces me first
then you turn around,
happy to finally see me.

When the dream pulls away
and I wake:
I know you’ll turn on me again.
You’ll turn on me forevermore.

A fitting punishment for a traitor like me,
the perfect price for my peace.