Someone I met today was an old coworker of my dad. She and her husband were really nice...
But super judgey-pants. Maybe my dad didn't see it that way, but I could see it. They wondered why I still lived at home, why I didn't have plans to move out, what degree did I get, do I pay bills at home. It's something that is in a lot of cultures, I'm sure, but I've never been one to compare. I guess it happens when you value different things in life.
From our interaction, I could tell that they were very career oriented people (dad later confirmed this). That's not a bad thing, because people want more and better for themselves for a variety of different reasons. What I didn't like was when they made assumptions about the state of education in America, being that they're from the Philippines. They didn't understand the local economy and what impacts that has on people like me, who live here.
"Living at home is pretty normal here. But what I've learned from talking to my Uber Drivers (shoutout again Uber Drivers!) from Ethiopia, Spain, and Jamaica... Living away from home is abnormal. People want to be with their families."
"Oh I see... I guess it's just America and the Philippines, everyone wants their kids to move out."
I guess so. I think there's something valuable in living at home, aside from saving on rent. As I've gotten older, I've learned that being near my family is important. Between my brothers and me, I feel like there's this unspoken understanding that at least one of us is with them in case anything happens. It would worry me to no end if something happened. That's not something I could be ok with.
"Oh, so do you charge her rent? One of our friends gave their kid a bill for the rent. Maxx, how would you feel if you got a bill for rent."
"I'd pay it, but I already pay for some of the bills in the house... So it wouldn't be that big of a difference."
My dad is such a champ, he said that it evens out in the end and the important part is that we function as a unit. Which is true, I think there's value in living outside of the house too, don't get me wrong. I really don't feel like I need to defend my life choices. I was like the "new underground" because I wanted to live at home... Never mind the high cost of living in Hawaii due to the rising costs of goods and people renting Airbnbs that have the potential to drive out locals... Of course, people don't think about those things. They didn't, and were promptly corrected by me.
Education doesn't make up for life skills. I can say that.
After dinner, we went to Walmart to refill the data on their SIM card. They didn't know what provider they had, and had to call their friend who lent them the hotspot. In the meantime, I found the available associate and asked him to help us. He did help, and like I talked about before with Filipinos having an unspoken Filipino network... He ended up helping them out very quickly... All because he heard them speaking in Tagalog on the phone.
Being more educated doesn't necessarily mean you're better. Money doesn't make you better either.
They're not bad people, and my interaction with them was only a snippet of their lives... But being open to the fact people value different things from you can make things a lot easier. And way more pleasant.
