Let me ask you a question, do Black lives matter?

"Yes, but all lives matter."

I'll phrase it differently, are Black lives important?

"Yes, but all lives are important."

Ok, one more time, are Black lives valued?

"Yes, but all lives are valued."

That's where you're wrong:

Black lives aren’t valued when they’re shot in their sleep, like Breonna Taylor.
Black lives aren’t valued when they’re shot in their own neighborhoods, like Ahmaud Arbery.
Black lives aren't valued when they're shot eating ice cream in their own homes, like Botham Jean.
Black lives aren’t valued when a Black 12-year old boy gets shot by a cop, like Tamir Rice.

And there's hundreds more… So are there lives that matter less?

If All lives matter and no lives matter less… Then why is it so hard for you to hear Black people say their lives should be valued? That Black lives are important? That Black lives matter?

You probably think they’re saying Black lives are more important.

Are you afraid that you won’t matter anymore? Are you afraid that you won’t be important anymore?

Don’t worry, all lives are important.

Your life is important, your life matters, and your life has value. You've already insisted upon this each time you insist on All lives matter. Yet you hate and argue each time Black people say Black lives matter and are important each time a Black person dies?

"Yes, but the media the doesn’t show other people dying too!"

They are children dying, cancer patients dying, and veterans dying. You don’t say "All lives matter" when that shows on the news, do you? Do you assume your life matters less when they die?

No. You usually shut up and let people grieve.

“Yes, but they’ve destroyed someone’s property with looting and rioting.”

Are Black lives less important than a $20 bill? Are Black lives less important than a Gucci bag or a pair of pants at Target? Listen to Black people when they say their lives are more important than a $20 bill and are invaluable.

"Yes, but they've destroyed people's businesses."

So why aren't the cops protecting businesses? Cops are supposed to be working for us. So if the concern is property damage, and looting, and rioting… Why aren't cops protecting places from that happening? Should those people have hired private companies and defended their own businesses? If so, then why do we need cops?

"Yes, but what about my suffering?"

You very definitively said All. Lives. Matter. No exceptions. No one is more important or less important, but you insist upon it. You may say all lives matter but think about how we treat other lives that matter:

Let me be clear. No one has a monopoly on pain or suffering or trauma. When your parent dies, does someone go to their funeral and say All lives matter? All moms matter? All dads matter? When a child dies, do you say all children matter? No. So, when a Black person is killed violently and horrifically, why is it so easy for you to say "All lives matter" when their communities are grieving?

"Yes, but all lives DO matter."

It harder to say "All lives matter" when you have exceptions. I'm willing to bet you have a few. In fact, you might think that some lives do matter less. Here are some examples:

Unsurprisingly, these kinds of lives had a chance to be tried in court. They still are alive. They got tried by a jury of their peers, not a cop with a gun. They did more heinous crimes than jogging in their neighborhoods or eating ice cream or using counterfeit bills when Black. They actually had a fighting chance. I mean, they lost, but they got that chance. Ahmaud, George, Breonna, and so many more didn't. So why didn't they get to have a trial? Cops didn't protect them, even though we say that it's their jobs. In fact, cops murdered them. Clearly, we haven’t been treating Black lives with the same process as other lives. Why?

I'm going to say it clearly. All lives matter protects racist systems and racist beliefs.

When you say it, it’s approval for a system that justifies killing Black people. All lives matter masks your discomfort with the continued existence of racism and oppression. All lives matter is easy to say, a nice illusion. Behaving like all lives matter requires effort. It demands that you feel unsafe with the realities of the Black lived experience. When you feel safe, that illusion is hard to give up.

If you belong to a group that faced oppression now or in the past… Saying all lives matter is dismissive. Whether or not it’s your intent, It reduces your own community’s trauma and the Black community’s trauma. It gives power to systems that have always divided us when we need to unite against it. Our experiences with pain or suffering aren't always the same, but the system that caused it is. We don't matter to systems that can casually weaponize our communities' grief and trauma against each other. This system wants us to fight over the leftovers. We need to build each other up so we can demand our fair share together. We need to be accountable to each other and for each other in ways this system is not.

Let’s review:

Are Black lives are valuable?
Are Black lives important?
Do black lives matter?

Yes.

If you need to say "yes, but…" then your answer is really no.