Today, I wanted to reset the world.
Reset
restart
redo

today.

Anything I could have done so this wouldn’t have, and couldn’t have happened. Just like all the games I’ve ever watched or played. Foul? Rewind the clock. Lost a life? Just load a save. Made the wrong choice? Press a button and start again.

But I couldn’t do that today. No amount of wishing or praying or hoping could change this. I can’t rewind time to a few days ago or go to a save point or change my choices and hope to affect some kind of change.

This isn’t a game.

I felt the world get a little heavier and the sadness became more palpable… Whispers spread like wildfire taking flight and each of us coughing and crying…. Unable to distinguish the tears from grief or from the ashes clinging harshly in the air.

I knew as I felt the hushed sighs and the heard the silent tears that there is nothing I could do.

I did the only thing I knew. I pulled you closer and held you tighter. And as I stroked your hair, I hoped you knew that I’d hold this with weight with you too.